I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Still planning on opening your door to all the trick-or-treaters? Or ever sleeping without this image haunting you? Didn't think so...

I'm looking forward to Halloween, as it means I get to dress up, even though I am 27 years old. I was all over Homecoming Week dress up days; yes, I live the teen life vicariously through my students and career. Go me! While out looking for a costume I came upon a glitch in the plan: the only ones available for adult women are some variation of the skank theme, such as "Slutty Snow White" or "Trampy Firefighter." Hmmm...quite the conundrum. While I'm sure there are teachers who would show up in such get-ups (Mary Kay Letourneau), I'm going to have to pass on risking my job and any respect I've gained thus far from my students. I'm thinking a classic like a vampire will work, with the fangs, blood, and some big crazy hair. When in doubt, go with the big hair; this philosophy has opened many doors for me.

Sidenote: I spent a few hours Thursday night passing out toothbrushes for the Kern Dental Society at Safe Halloween (hey, lots of kids were excited for our "treat"), and I noticed quite a few booty shorts, bare-midriffs, and go-go boots on ten year olds. Nice. Why are we in a handbasket and where are we going?