All the honeys who makin’ money, throw ya' hands up at me. All the mamas who profit dollas, throw ya' hands up at me.

YAY! Just finished teaching the unit on monopolies, oligopolies, cartels, etc., which culminates with a few days of throwing dice and playing Monopoly. I love it, as it entails the kids getting into groups, doling out the cash and asking me five thousand times when they can start erecting houses on their property. Um, when you own all of the colors, i.e. you HAVE A MONOPOLY. I get to catch up on grading and it gives me time to wander the room and get to know my students a little more in a non-naggish way. Originally I was just going to allot two days to the gaming experience, but they were so focused on the task at hand today that I think we'll take it through Monday, because having to do anything that includes a PowerPoint on Monday sucks.

Random facts about the board game:
1) The race car was voted the favorite token in 1998. I always liked the thimble and iron. You know, because I'm sooooo domestic.
2) Tokens in the "Here and Now" version include McDonald's fries, Starbucks coffee and the Toyota Prius. I guess this says that, while we may be filling ourselves with caffeine and greasy food, at least we're taking care of Mother Earth. Go us.
3) Neiman Marcus created a $600 chocolate game in 1978.
4) After Fidel Castro assumed power in Cuba, he ordered all Monopoly games destroyed. Capitalism sucks!
5) Escape maps, compasses and files were inserted into game boards smuggled into POW camps inside Germany during WWII. Real money for escapees was slipped into the packs of Monopoly money.
6) The three most-landed-on properties are Illinois Avenue, "GO" and the B&O RR. Next time you play, buy those properties quickly and thank me later.
7) Dad always wins. Always.

Titan Swim and Dive 2010

I have officially been crowned head swim coach at Frontier High School (how...HOW?!) and am eternally grateful for the amazing guidance I received from my dad while at Liberty, and all the help he continues to give. In an effort to keep the kids and parents informed and create a real "culture of unity" (Jack Donaghy would be so proud-if only I could fit the word "synergy" in there), I have created a website/blog for the team. Take a look and see when our meets are, read my incredible words of inspiration each week, find out where to send fatty checks to help us buy pool buoys and canopies, etc. titanswim.blogspot.com (It is not linking; copy and paste it yourself, lazy. What am I, your maid?)

Fa-la-la-la-freakin-da!

It is finally here! Christmas break has officially arrived. Happy holidays to all.

Live simply, so that others may simply live.

I know I blow money on totally unnecessary crap (but I LOVE my LAMB purse, so back off) and the following is my attempt to redeem myself and my American decadence.

I like to wrap up the semester of supply and demand/scarcity/monetary policy blah blah blah chitchat with something that my students can actually connect with-I have found it with kiva.org. It is a website featuring microentrepreneurs: people in the developing world trying to be self-sufficient but lacking the access to banks and loans that are more available in the good ol' USA.

I first found out about microcredit from a documentary entitled "Small Fortunes" (through BYU's Center for Self-Reliance) that tells the stories of people who have received such loans. After viewing some clips and discussing the issue (some classes included more blank stares than actual discussion...1st period) I showed my kids the website and challenged them to donate. We are shooting for $200 ($1 each-you are impressed with my math skills) and I will match their donations up to $200. This is a great way to give the gift to "the person who has everything" (or just won't tell you what they want) and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside...and isn't charity really about making yourself feel better? I jest...

I know money is tight for everyone and it seems like there is someone sticking their hand out asking for donations every which way we turn (back off, Salvation Army), but it is amazing to see how just $10 can change someone's life in the developing world.

Fun fact: Dr. Muhammad Yunus was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006 (step up your game, Obama) for his work with the Grameen Bank and the microcredit movement.

In it to win it.

I am heading up the blood drive committee at Frontier High School this year and we just had our first event. 150 students signed up to donate (yay!) but we had to turn away about 35, as Houchin Blood Bank just did not have the staff to process that many kids before school was out. Boo.

Anyeatironrichfoodsanddonate, it is a district-wide competition among all the high schools, and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE if we had the most donations, because cheap plastic trophies are cool and saving lives is even better. This post is my request to everyone who donates over the next year to please credit your donation to Frontier High School. Additionally, Houchin will bring the bloodmobile (that sounds disgusting, I know) to your office/business; employees can donate during the workday, and this can also be credited towards our school. And come on! In between helping annoying customers and clients and dealing with ridiculous co-workers, who wouldn't want to be poked and prodded?

For anyone who has ever engaged in a game of Trivial Pursuit/Scene It/Cranium, etc. with me, you know I do not mess around when it comes to such contests. I bring the pain, and this competition is no different. Bonus: great and easy way to help out those in need. And please do not look at the post's image and think I support such crap shows. I am not into the whole vampire/Twilight thing, but I thought it was appropro for my message and the Halloween season. Team Harry Potter. All. The. Way.

100th post: Strength.

There are as many reasons for running as there are days in the year, years in my life. But mostly I run because I am an animal and a child, an artist and a saint. So, too, are you. Find your own play, your own self-renewing compulsion, and you will become the person you are meant to be. -George Sheehan


This school year has been a difficult one, for various reasons, and I have found solace in an activity I used to dread every day during the fall season in high school at the ringing of the final bell: running. I joined cross country because Nicole did it, liked it, and dragged me along. I still remember the numbing pain I felt after my very first practice, which rendered me unable to climb a flight of stairs without wincing at every step. Out of shape? To say the least. My dad recently started getting back into top form for his Mt. Whitney climb this summer, and suggested that he, Nicole and I do the 5 mile "fun runs" at Yokuts each month. Thus, I altered my workouts, foregoing the cardio I used to get on the exercise bike and elliptical for lacing up the New Balances and hitting the pavement outside.

I have been blessed with a crap metabolism and know that I am doomed to a lifetime of workouts and calorie-counting. With this in mind, I have busted my butt too many hours to count with various workout tapes (old school Jane Fonda, anyone?), moves from websites, and at various gyms around town. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, though, can compare to the feeling I get when running outside. The beauty of running is that it can be done anytime, anywhere. No one needs a membership or special coordination to do it. Just go. There are times when I blast the music (Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" is my favorite-what music motivates you?) and moments, usually at night, when the quiet surrounds me and allows my mind to clear of all the confusion.

I used to laugh when people would cite "running" as a hobby, thinking this was just a way for them to let others know in a not-so-roundabout way they were sporty spices and always workin' on their fitness. And while I maintain my belief that this is the motive of most of them, I now get it. My hobby, my peace, my nirvana, my drug? Run, Candice, run.

Who is running things?

As we all know by now, schools are kind of in a financial pinch...as is everything else. They keep track of what we print; limit our paper supply (I had to ask permission for ten pieces of card stock to print tickets for a senior class event); and I currently have 198 students, compared to the 150 from last year. These examples signify just a few of the cutbacks and changes that have occurred. I get it, we are all having to tighten our belts, and yes, there is a LOT of waste that occurs that needs to be reigned in-I am grateful for a job at this point. So where the heck did the district come up with the funding to drop off a big ol' gallon of hand sanitizer for EVERY classroom in the district?! (And how much did the huge "Property of Kern High School District" sticker cost? Yeah, because I'm going to steal it.) Swine flu, schwine flu...

Have bleach for your eyes within reach.

Ahhh, the joys of the internet and small cameras that can be used to discreetly take pictures of the finest America has to offer. The next time you get your paycheck and glance at the federal and state taxes, remember all your fellow citizens who are being supported by your efforts. Check out www.peopleofwalmart.com for more chances to judge others and feel pretentious that Target is more your style. (All the while remembering we all hit up Walmart every now and then, so don't be too la-di-freakin'-da.)

I found you, Miss New Booty...People, dress for your body. Has she no mirrors? Or shame?

Okay, I kind of want those pants. And by kind of, I mean really.

Um, yeah...what mall kiosk custom-printed this gem? Because I doubt she is paying homage to the Buddhists or Hindus. And why have the guys next to her not punched her in the head yet? Perhaps they did not pay attention in history class...

The "NA NA NA" song for the birthday nerd.

Click her for your "So What" video-We're all gonna get in a fight!
Big C loves Little T.

Bootylicious.

One of the great things about the school year starting (besides getting up before the sun rises and trying to hold the attention of 195 teenagers while talking about opportunity cost) is that I get back on a schedule with my workout. Yes, you would think that summer vacation would be the time to buckle down and focus, but sleeping in usually took precedence over exercise.

While looking online for some new moves to try at the gym, I found a website called fitsugar.com. True, the name doesn't quite exude strength and power, but it is chockablock full of ways to change up your routine and take your workout to the next level. (Okay, that last sentence even annoyed me-excuse my wannabe trainer jargon.) One article in particular was especially good, offering "8 Dynamic Booty Exercises." Check. It. Out.

I've been around long enough to know you've gotta work with what you've got.

I did it.

I have been wanting a LAMB handbag since the day Ms. Stefani debuted her glorious line and have hated seeing Skankface McGees like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton with these purses casually slung over their arms...they are not worthy. While wasting time online this weekend, trying to get some feeling back in my hip joints following the 5 mile run with Dad and Nicole, I found this beauty...HALF OFF. My time had come. Years of foregoing cable, furnishing my home with thrift store and yard sale items, keeping my PG&E under $30 a month, and dyeing my hair with $7 boxes of Loreal Preference, are finally coming to fruition. It is all about allocation of resources. Some people like a fully stocked fridge; I like a fully stocked closet.

Capitalism, schmapitalism.

My new t-shirt, found on ebay and ordered for tomorrow's lesson on command economies. Yay! I embrace my nerdery fully. (Yes, I just made up a word-jealous?) Have some fun times and see if you can name each of the leaders featured, party people. Now enjoy some quotes concerning the free market...

"The cold fact is that most income is not distributed: it is earned."

"Capitalism is what people do if you leave them alone."

"Capitalism needs to function like a game of tug-of-war. Two opposing sides need to continually struggle for dominance, but at no time can either side be permitted to walk away with the rope."

Following our discussion concerning the good, the bad, and the ugly of our free market system, one student had me pegged as a Democrat. (Insert laughter here. I love messing with their minds.) Apparently my negative response to her question about whether I am a fan of Fox News led her to label me as a liberal. Nerds...And such things are what frustrate me about the current state of America-you're either one or the other. This whole brooha about Obama's address to schoolchildren is ridiculous. Teachers show stuff in class all the time that is probably biased or not reviewed by administration-why the need for them to do it now? Besides, I am sure not even a quarter of the students would even internalize the information being presented. Obama is the president and if he wants to have some face time with kids, have at it. Heaven forbid he encourage them to stay in school and take responsibility for their lives (although the legislation and policies he supports are doing just the opposite). What's next? Is he going to tell them to eat vegetables?! (Organic, of course.) Everyone just needs to chill.

Click on the following link for a hilarious article, courtesy of the cracked.com:
Republicans vs. Democrats. Fight, fight, fight...

Mondays are the best!

At around four o'clock Sunday afternoon, the day starts sucking. Why? Because the realization begins to sink in that Monday is in my near future, and Mondays deserve a big thumbs down. This morning was no different, but it was especially crappy when I walked into the office and found out the AC was down throughout the school. (Yes, I am a 21st century American and am incredibly spoiled.) Great. So I waltz into my classroom and start up my computer, which took an especially long time. The bell rings, students begin sitting in their desks, and I continue try to open up up the PowerPoint for the day's lesson, full of interesting pictures, information, and video clips to help guide them (and me) through the lesson. But guess what? The system is inaccessible, and no one on campus has access to their files. Sucky. First period is so not cool. By third period I've hit my stride, any glitches in the day's activity/lesson have been ironed out, and learning abounds. First period? Not so much. (Seriously, Porter-I'm not just making this up.)

In the good news department, however, my saddle shoes I have been coveting for quite some time arrived and I ADORE them. Interesting reactions from the students, as they called them bowling shoes, Mickey Mouse shoes, referred to me as Charlie Chaplin, etc. You never know what will cause a ruckus in class.

For Mom and Dad!

Haha, siblings! I win the "favorite child of the day" award. (Even though Dad had to come fix my water pipes this morning after knocking on my door and calling multiple times to wake me up. THANK YOU!)

So long, sweet summer.

So I'm guessing I should probably brush up on my knowledge concerning the economy, as school is in full effect on Monday and I have avoided all news sources and discussions concerning it the past couple months. Looks as though I will be spending the weekend glued to the computer screen, perusing websites for CNN, NBER, The Dismal Scientist, The Economist and some random Google searches...with probably a little Facebook, Fark and dlisted thrown in.

13. Two for one.

13. I Am Scout: A Biography of Harper Lee (Charles J. Fields) was found in the school library as I walked out of the computer lab following a day spent answering the same ten questions five thousand times (does NO ONE read directions?) as my students worked on a stock market project. To Kill A Mockingbird has always been a favorite book of mine (I know I am not the first to say that) and I find it interesting that the author, Harper Lee, never wrote anything else. (But, seriously-talk about pressure!) Thus, I thought a peek into her life would be quite interesting.

Apparently Mr. Shields wrote a first biography directed at adults, and I Am Scout was his edition for the teen crowd...you could kind of tell. It was a little choppy at times, but still a good read. We find that Ms. Lee's real name is Nelle but went by her middle name, as she did not want it mispronounced "Nellie." Her close childhood friend Truman Capote, upon whom the character Dill is based, basically screwed her over following the monumental success of In Cold Blood, refusing to acknowledge the integral role she played in gaining information about the case. (Side note: What is the big deal about his book? I think the man just knew how to market himself well. I thought it was meh, and we all know my opinion is the only one that truly matters.) I recommend it to anyone who loves her book...and if you have not yet read this masterpiece, go sit in the corner. Seriously. Of course I had to pick it up when I should have been doing a hundred other things (this was when school was still in session) and it is definitely a book that transcends the ages. The following quote by Clifton Fadiman is very apropos: "When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than was there before."

During my time reading TKAM, I got into a, well, we'll call it a discussion with a student. This kid is the type who thinks he is always right and quibbled over every single point I ever docked him. I basically told him he was prejudiced/racist, and advised him to read the book, showing him the following quote: "If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." (Atticus Finch. Coolest name ever.) I doubt he took my little literary lesson to heart.

PS-I am always reminded of Grandma and Grandpa Urmston when I read To Kill A Mockingbird; on one of the trips they took Nicole and me on, I remember watching the movie for the first time. Interestingly, Gregory Peck's role was much smaller initially, but it was built up, paving the way for his Oscar. Harper Lee's first choice for the role of Atticus (based upon her on father) was Spencer Tracy.

PPS-This was assigned reading in Mrs. Reider's 8th grade literature class (one of the best teachers), and the final project included creating a map of the fictional town of Maycomb, AK, the book's setting. Laura O'Rullian and I spent hours at Erin McCarthy's house (the night before, of course) putting this flipping thing together. You had to hunt through the book to make sure the post office was on the correct corner and that Ms. Dubose's house was just so. What is in I Am Scout? A map of Harper Lee's town of Monroeville, upon which Maycomb was based. What. Ever.

Holy crap. I need to pick up the pace if I am going to read 50 new books this year.

Done.

The 10 year reunion went off without a hitch and good times were had by all. The end.

Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!

I figured now that I have a couple months to catch up, it would be a good time to get a haircut, as it has been about 8 months since the last one and my hair has been through its own Battle of Iwo Jima this year. I sprung for the fancy salon and went to Great Clips, where a gorgeous (seriously) Argentinian lady snipped away. I began by first apologizing for the hot mess that is my hair and explaining its recent history, and then she proceeded to give my hair disparaging looks while encouraging me to buy expensive reconstructive products. Um, did she not hear I stripped it on my own, an obvious sign that I am a cheapskate? That said, I am VERY happy with the cut and will be returning to Adelita at Great Clips on Rosedale. Fo' sho'.

The best part of the experience was eavesdropping on the conversation taking place to my right, as it included some girl describing all the "really cute" outfits she bought her niece. I couldn't see this Eleanor Roosevelt of the 21st century, but after hearing her shopping selections, I had an image in my mind. I will share with you some of her words and you can play the game as well.

1) Sorry boys, I only date rock stars
(Do you WANT your daughter on the "Rock of Love" bus? Dream big, o' little one.)
2) I'm with the MILF
(I will SLAP you, Courtney, if you ever purchase this for me and my pretend children, just for wasting your money.)
3) I love my daddy, even if he is a deabeat a**$#@!
(Make sure to dress the kid in this when the daddy drops by once a year to take the kid to the park for an hour. Nothing like a big pile of animosity to get the visit started right!)

There were a few more, but at this point my head was exploding with the shock and horror of it all. I was tempted to lean over and ask if she found one emblazoned with the message "In 20 years, taxpayers wll be supporting me and my 5 kids", as that would be super appropriate, but I am passive aggressive and that's just not my style. I'll just sit there and smirk to myself at the witty and hilarious things running through my head, then post it on my blog.

I realize that a picture of Britney Spears and the kids sharing a pack of smokes would have been more post-appropriate, but her image has already been used once on my blog, so I though I'd change it up. Nothing like Brooke Hogan in a pair of homemade denim chaps (What?! No bedazzled jewels?!?) to represent this particular sector of society.

Urmston Family Reunion t-shirt. Thoughts?

Stupid blogspot would not add the "widget" to my post, but it would add it to the "gadget" in the layout (good story, I know), so look to the RIGHT for my idea for the Urmston Family Reunion t-shirt; I am obviously ripping off Uncle Peter. (CORRECTION: ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY COOP-A-LOOP.) I tried out various fonts and colors, and this is the best result (according to me and my impeccable taste). The image on the back should actually be the same shade of yellow as the text on the front, but I seriously lack Photoshop skills, so use your imagination. The numbers in the Uranium box (for all those non-science fools) can be changed from 92 to 61 (for the year of establishment) and from 238.03 to 620.09 (for the month and year of reunion).

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Spiritual awakenings? Religious antecdotes? Please leave here! Merci beaucoup.

From the makers of "The Wonder Wand"...

My honors kids really didn't want a written final, and I obliged by giving them a few project options, including making an economics music video using an already recorded song or an original. I posted a video a few months back of a commercial for "The Wonder Wand" made by some of my boys, and I'm sure all who saw it would agree it was quite fantastic. This video is their newest creation. Thank you to Brandon Carter, Brian Williams, Jean-Luc Slagle, and Ryan Sitton for continually amazing me. Enjoy.

Follow-up: Channel 29 news did a story on them today. Sweet.

A few other projects were also quite fabulous, including a remake of Lonely Island's "I'm on a Boat"-theirs was "I Bought a Boat." (If you haven't seen the original, check it out-there is a clean version available for those with sensitive ears.) I'll post it soon. I know, you're all on the edge of your seats.

I'm going to miss these kids.