Merci Beaucoup, Dad!

Christmas just came early for me! I ran home during lunch today (okay, I drove, even though it is less than ¼ of a mile away-it is COLD! And I am lazy…) and found the BEST surprise awaiting me: the bushes in my front yard (hiding places for potential rapists) had been trimmed and (drumroll) my backyard is weed free!

For anyone who has ever seen my backyard, there is no need to expand upon its ghetto-not-so-fabulousness. Weeds taller than me covered the whole area, and the skeletons of a couple kittens are in the ground somewhere (not my cats-I HATE them-but the offspring of a crazy mama cat who has been sent to remind us all that hell actually does exist).

I vow that I will not allow the weeds to come back this time, which means I will have to venture outside to do some yard work, one of my least favorite things to do. I remember having to weed in my younger years, and one day thought I would be smart and just cut them, using my mom’s GOOD SEWING SCISSORS. (I am as surprised as the rest of you that I made it to twenty-seven following such an atrocious lapse in judgment.) It is time to throw down some seed and plant a garden; I’m going to force myself to have a green thumb if it kills me, because we all need more fruits and veggies in our lives, especially if they’re free. Stick that one in your pipe and smoke it, new organic grocery store down the street!

I apologize to my readers for the repeated use of the exclamation point in this post, but I really am flippin' excited!!!